What if you entered the cosmic break world. Part 1!

Yes! Its another one of my deep cb questions and this question came about in an odd way

*insert flash back noise here*

There i was sleeping with my cat by my side, THATS when it hit me!
The cat slapped me across the face to stop snoring, THATS! when it hit me!
The cat back-paw slapped me again like if im his Bit~ you get the idea!
THATS when it hit me for the last time, i gave that cat a scolding and said "i thought you were a cat not a whiny old bit**"!
The dog howled like if it said "OOOOHHHH SHIT!"
The turtle gave me the dramatic look.
Then my bro knocked me across the head with a lamp for talking to smart animals. (I got knocked out and dreamt about cheerleaders and WoW hentai for some reason..>.>)
THATS when it hit me (forealz this time)


What if you woke up one day and found yourself in the Cosmic Break dimension
Note: Your not in a clan or guild or group and your all alone in the newbie quest feild

This is what i would do

1.Go through that pokemon rescue team type questionare and awaken
2.Panic
3.Panic sumore
4.Slap yourself to see if your dreaming
5.Beat the living hell out those low level quest bots laughing at you for slapping yourself.
6.Take theire parts and weps
7.Adapt and repeat 5 and 6 till i find enough parts to make my first 3 way airforce.
8.find the right portal to the mission area!
9.Accept the most dangerous mission in hard mode
10. Find Ivis
11. Tell her how people see her as a spam bot
12. woo her with some bad jokes
13. she turns around in disgust then turns back rdy to own me but sees im not there
14. she turns around again to see me
15. Biatch slap with me and my 3 air bots
16. Say Desu Gently asked forced me to do it
17. Run
18. Return and become a hero for doing .15.
19. Get a movie that is filled with lies and replace me with some cool actor with some hot chick to be Ivis. The other guys get a spin off series!
20. See you later space cowboy!
*Western Gunshot*

Ending 1...

Im showering in my mansion then somebody opens the shower curtains
me: WTF... no...NO.. NO NO it cant be i-i made sure Ivis killed you
me: *Girly shreek*

And thats when learnd what REspawn means.

Ending 2...

I pay Desu a small little lump sum HUGE 80% of my cash and becomes my advisor thus gaining an additional 10% a minute

Either way Desu owns me...you...and soon...


Everyone...

Yeah so what would you do?

may i be the first 1 to ask WTF?

Well, you see, I have this slight advantage that might make me a bit more useful in the CB universe than here... I'm a motherfuckin rocket scientist.

Well, okay, not really, I'm an out-of-work mechanical engineer who specialized in power plant systems and has an interest in propulsion and aeronautics. Long story short, I can make Froglanders with spare parts in a cave... In the real world. My previous job was designing and building calibration and sterilization irradiators that can kill your shit hardcore with motherfucking gamma rays (I shit you not).

If I were to fall into the Cb universe, first I'd think I'm on some freaky shroom trip, but once I get used to the batshit crazy laws of physics they have there, I'd make a beeline for the ground area and set up a Tune Up shop that competes with the Cosmos Pot. Perhaps my tune-ups wouldn't be perfect, but I'd work on them until they're guaranteed to work.

That's right, unlike those lazy ass Cospot tinheads who might get half way through and just give up, still charging you full price for breaking your shit. That's no way to run a fucking business. I'd make sure it's right before charging my customers. Of course, my tune-ups probably wouldn't last forever, and you'd mostly need duct tape salvage for them, but hey, repeat customers are the best customers!

Of course, I'd have to do some political wrangling among the Guardians to get those permits, but if the screwups at the Cosmos Pot could manage that, it ought to be a cakewalk.

I suppose if business is slow, I'd grab a Laser and a booster, and bust into some Shuffle matches with my DOS comrades, probably as a Med Air type, because that's how I roll.

Path 1

1) Panic
2) Die
3) Respawn
4) Realize that I can't really die, and that I'll be forced to face horribly scarring and painful agony again and again till the end of time, a merciful death being forever denied to me.
5) Scream.

Path 2

1) Wait what I'm a loli bot?
2) Fondle my own breast.
3) Happy ending.

howitzerlove wrote:

1) Wait what I'm a loli bot?
2) Fondle my own breast.
3) Happy ending.

Oh? I assumed we have our current fleshy, most likely male bodies.

Feign wrote:

howitzerlove wrote:

1) Wait what I'm a loli bot?
2) Fondle my own breast.
3) Happy ending.

Oh? I assumed we have our current fleshy, most likely male bodies.

Bah, we're mechs, we can change parts right?

howitzerlove wrote:

Feign wrote:

howitzerlove wrote:

1) Wait what I'm a loli bot?
2) Fondle my own breast.
3) Happy ending.

Oh? I assumed we have our current fleshy, most likely male bodies.

Bah, we're mechs, we can change parts right?

Okay, fine... I get to be a Sturbanger, then.

Feign wrote:

Okay, fine... I get to be a Sturbanger, then.

I'm a boss pepen that can summon a hundred pepens with my wonder bit.

id be jikun hu,suks to look girly but its still better than suddenly being a girl(no offence to girls) or a toaster with guns.
lol besides hes the only human male in dimension overpopulated of girls XD

Befriend everyone in a magical fire~


BAD END

Alternatively...

Take Ivis home along with Crim~

Trololol endlessly with my army of frogs.

And a wonder bit that summons even more frogs, and a frog cannon.

I'd Start a band.
https://2img.net/r/ihimizer/img267/4288/fac0c09e243b53e2ac2b25a.jpg

Trololol endlessly with my harem of Crims and Ives.

I'd find some way to change my outfit

Then go wild

Go really wild

Oh,
I'd also want to polygon edit myself into a loli.

Desu wrote:

Oh,
I'd also want to polygon edit myself into a loli.

That would hurt.

oh and its probably a loli with serious cleavage

Like zero saber girl.

well...first of all, i'll go look for every single girl robot there
:3 and ask them if they have any boyfriend
second imma go steal some high powered weps
third go get a pedobot and an ivis
4th do anything else!

eljonfelarca wrote:

well...first of all, i'll go look for every single girl robot there
:3 and ask them if they have any boyfriend
second imma go steal some high powered weps
third go get a pedobot and an ivis
4th do anything else!

I'd probably want a three way relation ship between Crim, and Ivis~
Then maybe chill out with the Damtree and my Manyfaces bot,
While smoking some green

Desu wrote:

I'd probably want a three way relation ship between Crim, and Ivis~

I prefer my relationships with a great deal less psychotic and stabby. Also, Crim seems a little too vapid for my tastes. I'd go after Izuna (seems level headed, also hot) or Maril March (shared interest in music, also hot).

Or hey, I could poly-edit myself into a Mechajetter and go with Mecha Jetter Girl... Because, she's a fangirl who isn't loli.

Desu wrote:

Then maybe chill out with the Damtree and my Manyfaces bot,
While smoking some green

... Implying they have weed. Somehow I doubt it what with all the aggression you see around the arenas.

Feign wrote:

Or hey, I could poly-edit myself into a Mechajetter and go with Mecha Jetter Girl... Because, she's a fangirl who isn't loli.

Thats like saying the big chested bots aren't loli.

And obviously Zero Saber girl has the loliface.

Hyoka wrote:

Feign wrote:

Or hey, I could poly-edit myself into a Mechajetter and go with Mecha Jetter Girl... Because, she's a fangirl who isn't loli.

Thats like saying the big chested bots aren't loli.

And obviously Zero Saber girl has the loliface.

I want the mech jetter girl too,
But just so i can hug her and hold her tight,
...
Because she reminds me of someone i knew
;-;

Desu wrote:

Hyoka wrote:

Feign wrote:

Or hey, I could poly-edit myself into a Mechajetter and go with Mecha Jetter Girl... Because, she's a fangirl who isn't loli.

Thats like saying the big chested bots aren't loli.

And obviously Zero Saber girl has the loliface.

I want the mech jetter girl too,
But just so i can hug her and hold her tight,
...
Because she reminds me of someone i knew
;-;

d'aww, okay you can have her.

Also, You can hardly say that Meril is a loli. She looks more like my favorite bartender than someone I'd get tossed in jail for thoughtcrime over.

Anzelotte wrote:

Befriend everyone in a magical fire~


BAD END

Alternatively...

Take Ivis home along with Crim~

From another forum I saw a girl kicking a shoe up when it landed in the countryside

Anyway I would have to be...............................
um...........
Crimrose Mecha Jetter Girl?
Okay I'll be serious...
A random Psycho Formula with 2 Misside Arms and 2 Blast Bazookas.
Get it - Psycho Formula???
Wait it was suppose to be the special Garapon *other type*
Either way...

If i could,
I would want a harem.
Consisting of millions of
Crim-Chans,
Ouka-chans (Dancing version),
and Coco Garps

Me? I'd Probably...
1: Wake up, then quickly go back to sleep.
2: Wake again in either someone's house, that place where the 3 "Gods" hang out, or just where I was (IDK, they could just expect that kinda shit seeing how their arena rooms look)
3: ASSESS THE SITUATION
4: get a bad case of future shock
5: Spend rest of day staring out window...or what ever...and try to regain mental composure.
6: Ask for some kind of lodgings...don't know how long I'll be staying...or if I'll ever get home. *small tears at night as I miss family*
7: Try to get a guide to show me around
8: on tour, see CrimRose at the shore of the beach.
9: Say hello and make fun of situation. *to break ice and to resure myself that I can do this*
10: Notice that CrimRose seems a little alone
11: Without thought, make complete fool of myself and hug her out of the blue.
12: appologise profoundly and try to make motives clear, then dig self out of akward situation. *nurse new wounds, if applicable*
13: Try to get some kind of job, or at least make use of self
14: remember that I am hypo glycemic, faint due to low blood sugar *didn't remember to eat...wait....do they even have food? OH Shi...*

Prolog: Depending on whether I die due to starvation or not, I'd try to continue to meet more of the other heros, mabe see if I could be so lucky to find a nice girl there that may make sure I don't end up as firtilizer in this new place *or whatever they use corpses for...wait...do they even have corpses?*(May or may not be CrimRose, she could have liked my hug, or wished I was lit on fire...IDK, not good with girls/women), and try to find out why I was brought to this new place. Mabe find an arch nemisis, gain some powers...then have over-the-top duel to the death, defeat him, then die from mortal wounds *in lover's arms, if so lucky*, then wake up in starch white space of nothingness and talk about the nature of the universe. Depending on how things turn out, I'd either ask to be reincarnated to stop my lover's tears and live happily ever after, or just chill with the almighty dude and see if I can't make him laugh. *Bonus points if Uranus explodes when he bursts out laughing*

Feel free to comment and critique my thoughts. Also, if someone does get pulled into the CB universe, feel free to make this your strat if you so feel inclined.