Valkyrie's Confession

I hope that ppl will still consider me the same way they did before I made this thread.

I wanted to confess something that's been troubling me for a major part of my life. It's maybe the biggest secret I have.

I have gender dysforia.

You wouldn't be the first one to admit that in CB community.

Soooo, moving on.

Gender is an illusion.

An illusion is a distortion of your own senses. Gender is category of acceptable standards you are to adhere to in a given society, i.e., the expected gender roles of your given identification. Your own gender identity is thus skewed by your social identity, thus distorting your own view of yourself. There is nothing wrong with however you perceive yourself; your society is the one telling you this is the case. Thus, since gender distorts your own view of yourself, it is an illusion.

Gender what?

Miliken wrote:

Diabolical wrote:

Gender what?

gender dysphoria.
basically means valk is having gender identity problems.


i sure hope you've told irl people that you know about this instead of just us internet nerds, valk.

I undertook steps like telling my counselor and my mentor, I talked with a medical psychologist in a gender clinic. I also talked with some very close friends, but I'm scared to death when I think of telling it to all my friends and, even more so, my family

My niece has this along with one of my friends at college. I wish you good luck!

Doesn't change anything. You're still valky.

ziix wrote:

Doesn't change anything. You're still valky.

Damn right. You're Valky, and that's that.

I don't see any reason to consider you any different than before. Just hope you'll be fine.

i never really knew you before, so to me this is the normal you. So nothing changed to me, cause there was nothing to change

its more common these days anyway, its becoming more and more excepted.

you still have extremists who argue a cisgendered view but you shouldn't care.

i've read a little bit about gender, i'd probably word it differently to how Kirika has and say
gender is connected to your sense of identity, identity is another huge thing you can talk about but that would take ages. while sex is clear set thing from birth (generally) gender is all about what you think you are, i will agree with society setting a kind of bench mark as to what it means to be male or female but like any social thing that involves your mind it can change over time and be unclear or uncertain.

when it comes down to it you don't have to have a clear cookie cutter sense of being cisgendered, you can be anywhere inbetween, from clear male or female to the elusive 3rd gender or no gender at all.

the important thing though is that you get the support you need, and i would not recommend getting it from here

IronDicks wrote:

the important thing though is that you get the support you need, and i would not recommend getting it from here

Bolded for emphasis.

Welcome to CBFF

Valkyrie wrote:

I hope that ppl will still consider me the same way they did before I made this thread.

I think I'd be a hypocrite to do otherwise. A person's sex doesn't define who they are to me, it's who they are that does.

JadeCicada wrote:

Valkyrie wrote:

I hope that ppl will still consider me the same way they did before I made this thread.

I think I'd be a hypocrite to do otherwise. A person's sex doesn't define who they are to me, it's who they are that does.

i know i'll sound like a smartass for saying but Sex and gender are two different things, in the case of this thread Gender is whats being talked about not sex.

simply put

Sex is what you are.

Gender is what you think you are.

IronDicks wrote:

i know i'll sound like a smartass for saying but Sex and gender are two different things, in the case of this thread Gender is whats being talked about not sex.

Gender Dysphoria exists because of a disconnect between sex and gender. Gender happens to be a part or expression of who one is, and I'm not one who applies a hard label on gender, anyway. Which is kinda what I was just saying (the former, anyway).

So, basically, you sound less like a smartass and more like you didn't actually read what I said. ♪

JadeCicada wrote:

IronDicks wrote:

i know i'll sound like a smartass for saying but Sex and gender are two different things, in the case of this thread Gender is whats being talked about not sex.

Gender Dysphoria exists because of a disconnect between sex and gender.

i was merely pointing out that you said "sex" when gender would have made more sense.

but i'm just nit picking now and am expecting to be called a faggot or some shit because of it.

I think I'll keep my response to a simple PM, and digress so that I can go back to what I was editing into my response before I got a "Someone posted!" message.

The important thing, Valk, is that you're getting support in this from those closer to you than us. That you have a counselor and very close friends to back you up is good to hear. I can only imagine how scary it is to be afraid to reveal this to your own parents.

i could keep going, i said before as gender being part of your identity, i just put in simple terms cus some people get all huffy puffy and like tl:dr versions.

though what you said i guess could be taken either way depending how you word it

"A person's sex doesn't define who they are to me" sounds more physical, "penis' and vaginas' don't matter to me, i think of you for you"

where as "A person's gender doesn't define who they are to me" sounds more like, "it doesn't what you think you are i'll still think of you for you"

i didn't mean it as "your wrong, im right go jump in a lake" so sorry if it seemed like i was being a dick

Suguri wrote:

IronDicks wrote:

the important thing though is that you get the support you need, and i would not recommend getting it from here

Bolded for emphasis.

Yeah, that's why I've been doing stuff irl over the past months. I still felt like I had to confess on the net, so I kinda blurted it out.

Anyways, thanks for your support guys. No worries about me not getting support irl - I'm taking care of it